" That's just the sort of blinkered, Philistine Pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage!"

John Cleese

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Modest Proposal To Myself

I'm thinkin'...

I could save $200 this year by simply driving up to the complex in Niles to watch quality softball instead of re-upping the MLB Extra Innings baseball package to watch the Angels.

But I would re-up if Tony Reagins would cut the shit and do away with these half-measures. You get on the horn, Tony. Soriano and Zito's contracts are just sitting there, waiting to be ripped from their respective teams. If you don't go get those two, this off-season is a failure.

Back in October, I mused:

"...and the Angels are one more stupid acquisition from being a bloated, smelly carcass of a baseball team for years to come."

That was during a particularly low sports moment in my world. The Browns were 0-3. They went on to back a good football team for 2 1/2 weeks bookended by awfulness. But hey, they got Dick Jauron to run the defense, so... They TOTALLY redeemed themselves!

The Angels on October 1 were just wrapping up a season that distinctly felt like I just watched the second half of a late 80s Sox team. Spending the time to watch them felt like one step away from having to seriously reevaluate how I spend my time.

But they had a bit of money coming off the books and more coming off a year from now (this year is the last year of the Gary Matthews, Jr. contract!). They were players for Crawford and Beltre but balked at the number of years (!) involved and Moreno threatened that he'd have to raise ticket prices (lowest in baseball) if he did either of those deals. So...to counter the loss of said good players...they traded for a 32-year-old declining asset with four years and $75 million left on his contract. That's fireable. I'm speechless. The 13-game Ozzie plan is looking more attractive as each day passes.

In 1991, I bought a Renault Alliance for $1200 against the advice of everybody on the planet. It lasted about ten months, broke in about 47 different places all at once, I pushed it into a parking spot a few blocks from my apartment and left it there. Came back a couple weeks later to find it missing and never even tried to track it down. Still don't know what happened to it.

THAT was a marginally better acquisition than this.

"Bloated, smelly carcass for years to come?"

Oh, my, yes.

Wow. Just...wow.


Mate Famber said...

As long as they maintain that banal home field advantage!

BTW, 99% sure we're moving out there. Sox come in twice.

Make plans now.

Mate Famber said...

The Renault! Forgot about that car.

"It gets 400 hectares on one tank of kerosene"

Christo P. Ney said...

I don't know what you're talking about. Angels Stadium has fireworks and 12,000 eight year-olds screaming. What's not to like?

And whore-like announcers and PR people "pumping up the brand."

Thank you, nine year-old brain, for choosing THIS team to go to my grave with.

I bought the Renault solely because it had a sunroof. To me, at the time, that was neat.

Worked out beautifully.