I'll have a winner by Friday in my bracket.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
4) Senate Republicans vs. 12) People Who Correspond Only Through E-Mail: Christo has a similar entry in his bracket but the Senate GOP, usually, had a few moderates who seemed a bit ashamed that they had a (R) under their name. Particularly when the Bat Shitters really started to take control. Remember Rick Santorum? You could see the blood rushing to John McCain's neck. Now? John McCain apparently is all gung ho Tea Party anti-immigrant, 14th amendment repealing, screw the poor, did I say I was a maverick? Forget all that. And he's just one of several. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins and George Voinovich and that crowd usually would speak up and be relatively rational during heavily political times....Chirp....Chirp...
"You're busy. I'm busy. Everybody's busy!". George Costanza pretty much nails it. It's waaaay too much work for these people to actually pick up a phone or walk over the five feet to your cubicle and actually speak to you. I've had bosses whose office I could literally look into from my desk shoot me e-mails about something they could have shouted at a fairly moderate voice at me. And we have teenagers who obsess over texting? Gee. I wonder how that happened?
PWCOEM in a classic second rounder, pull it out on a last second jumper in triple OT, 101-100. Instant classic.
10) "Best Places To Live" Lists vs. 2) Job Advice: In a way these two are intertwined. Where are the "good" jobs? Places like Shreveport, Louisiana and Danville, Illinois! You can get a house there for cheap! Yeah, because it's DANVILLE FUCKING ILLINOIS!
Should I get a job in construction or accounting? Because I have no experience in either but applying for the job will kill some time. So will masturbating in the basement. And i think I'd accomplish more.
Job advice in a walk, 88-60.
6) This Summer Movie Season vs. 3) People Who Still Don't Get Why Fixing Your Dog Is a Good Thing: When the best movie I've seen this summer from the studios was "Eat, Pray, Love" you can pretty much guess what the state of moviemaking has come to out of Hollywood. Is this the price we're paying for years of sequels, prequels and horseshit comic book adaptations? "Scott Pilgrim"? Really? This is what passes for entertainment these days?
My dog has been repeatedly humped by my unfixed brother in law's shepherd mix now about 14 times. I'm going to bring the dog up on rape charges. It's an easy fix. A 20 minute procedure that MAY cost you 50 bucks or 100 depending on where you live. You're not hurting the dog. He's not human. He's a dog. HE has the memory of a gnat. Put some food in front of him and he'll never think about his balls ever again. But what does every vet in the fucking world know, right? Snobs. Get.Your. Dog. Fixed.
But this Summer Movie Season is so bad that it's almost unstoppable. They win with a late 15-6 run and take it, 87-82.
10) Rush Limbaugh's Barely Hidden Disdain For Non Whites vs. 2) Conservatives Who Actually Bring Up Secession: This is an easy one. The secession talk is mainly a small faction of bat shit nut jobs on the fringe. They've always been there it's just asshats like Rush who give them a voice. And even the more wacky kind of see the foolishness of even talking about it. Mostly.
So, Rush and his race bating take this one easily. The Muslim Mosque shit was just manure to his garden. Stay classy, Fat Boy. Stay classy.
Rush in a romp, 122-77.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Anybody who thinks the Sox should have claimed Brian Fuentes can hand in their baseball fan license right now.
4) Dan McNeil's Dopey Joy For NFL Training Camp Starting vs. 13) Buying Something at Walgreen's: This goes out to anyone who gives more than a passing shit about pre season NFL games: They. Don't. Matter. The players don't give a shit, the coaches just want to get through them without significant injuries and the NFL uses them as a reason to gouge people out of hundreds of dollars for a damn ticket to a game that is mostly being played by guys who have no chance of seeing the field in a real game. I get that you're excited for football but this isn't it. And Dan encapsulates those people.
Walgreen's is awful but temporary. I rarely go in there anyway as I have to actually park and walk in. But the sheer drudgery of the store and it's existence basically for medicine and last minute Mother's Day cards gets it a nice chance against an average participant...
But McNeil's overzealous joy for stupid shit like NFL Training Camp is too strong in the middle and cruise to a 89-77 win.
1) WOOOOO!!! vs. 8) Today Show Financial Advisers: Woo! We're gonna get drunk...Woo! Go (insert team name)! Woo!! I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND! WOO!
I'm showing my tits! Woo! I sat on a porcupine quill! Woo! I'm going to the Iowa game next Saturday. I put the over/under on Woo! as I walk to the stadium at 78.
Today Show Financial Advisers are chock full of common sense (and by common sense I mean 'duh'!) advice like " Don't pay more for a boat than you can afford" or nuggets like "Student loans DO accrue interest" for the truly ignorant. Gee, I can't imagine why 75% of Americans are in debt if this is the type of advice they need. Not judging as much as observing...No, judging. Dumbasses.
But Woo! is in my immediate future and I don't have a remote like I do when the Today Show is on.Woo! is almost perfect from 3 point range and WOOO! ....99-65.
And, yep, this just about sums up Raider Nation...or Romeoville. Or both.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I'm in the same boat at Mate.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
It's unforgivable, Kenny.
Anyway, Mate hasn't had alot of time the last few days to get to his second round. We hope to have this done by the first Iowa game. At this rate, maybe the Penn State game?
Darth Vader Going "Nooooo!" vs. Nostalgia For Video Games: I recently watched "Revenge of the Sith" (partially) and waited through the interminable final battle scene between Obi-Wan and Anakin to get to the point where Vader does his Frankenstein bullshit. It's worse every time you watch it. Mainly because it's another nail in a coffin of a film franchise that made me so happy as a youth. It's become horrifyingly apparent that there really was only two good films in the whole thing and I've wasted alot of time watching crappy movies.
I actually have an old Sega and Magnavox system that my father in law gave me to see if I could get rid of it on e-bay. I'm starting the bidding at 100 bucks. For an ancient game system that sucked to begin with. It's just another example of guys my age that get nostalgic for bullshit.
But Darth Vader is on fire and is going to be tough to stop as he jumps out to a 19-5 lead and cruises, 78-54.
Photo Enforced Traffic Lights vs. Miller Lite Man Up Ads: PETL just reek of Nazi Germany. Well, ok, that's a tad dramatic. It certainly seems like an idea that Hitler wouldn't have had a problem with. It doesn't increase safety (in fact, the opposite) it is only a revenue generator that gets money to pay for more crap that we don't need. And nice randomness on where you put them up.
MLMUA are more infuriating the more you watch. Apparently there's several. What do the women in the board room at the ad agency say when Douchey McFrat pitches this crap? I'm not against pushing the envelope but this is just blatant lowest common denominator stuff that works on the Meathead Brigade effectively. "I'm not a man if I drink this!" is so unbelievably stupid and juvenile that anyone who does it that is over the age of 18 is a fucking dick.
Man Up Ads have a rally in them at the end and pull off the HUGE upset. I think cities are starting to wise up to the dumbassery of PETLs. Man Up Ads get to the Sweet 16 on a wing and a prayer, 71-68. The nation watches.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
It was 20 years ago two weeks ago that Mate and Christo decided to pass on "Sprints!" and "Monkey Rolls!" for a year.
We'll finish up the second round by next week...or not.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
4) Senate Republicans 13) Pat Quinn: Do they actually stand for anything that isn't a calculated political move? All of a sudden we seem to care about "paying'" for stuff. Bush tax cuts? Poppycock....Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Pffft....Pentagon Budgets completely out of control? America Hater!
From Jon Kyl and Judd Gregg admonishing those slacker 8 million unemployed leeches to go out and "get a job" that doesn't fucking exist to "exploring" the removal of the 14th amendment even though it has absolutely NO chance of happening this group is not only beyond revulsion but almost as slimy as the last time they ran things.
Pat Quinn is a guy that sort of just became governor. He seems more like someone that should be taking my loan application or something. Kind of over his head. Good idea, Pat. Let's raise taxes on people in a state that has one of the highest property and sales tax rates in the nation. That'll help. Oh, and while you're at it, cut the government agencies except YOUR office. That's a good move.
He will lose and lose badly. It's not all his fault. His predecessor had a lot to do with it but he's a boob. I don't know how crazy I am about his opponent but I won't vote for him.
But Senate Republicans take this one easily with a stifling 2-2-1 zone and cruise to a 81-55 win.
2) Job Advice 15) University of Texas and What's Left of the Big 12: Oh, God, job advice. Everyone is willing to give this up at the drop of a hat. "Why don't you get a job in construction?" or "I saw that Macy's is hiring." You wanna just slap the floor and scream. It's so easy for someone to tell you to go apply at the Verizon store when they aren't the ones that have to actually work there. I got laid off. I didn't quit. I didn't get fired. I paid taxes out of my paycheck that went to pay for Unemployment Benefits. Fuck you, I'm not taking a part timejob at Jamba Juice.
The whole Big 12 thing had a chance if this tourney took place a few months ago but the whole thing has fizzled. Yeah, the conference is now a bunch of Texas' ass bitches but it's really always been like that. Texas is awful in so many ways that to just pick on it's state university seems short sighted. The Big 12 bored me anyway. Just saying Kansas versus Colorado makes my eyelids sag.
Job advice cruises, 101-66.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
4) Dan McNeil's Dopey Joy For NFL Training Camp Starting 13) The Amount of Pillows On People's Beds: I really haven't had a great deal of opinion on Dan McNeil. He certainly was a step up from Mike Murphy but a slightly retarded Baboon would've done the same thing. I never really listened to him on WMVP, mainly because of Harry, and he seems like a fairly amiable fellow with at least a passing knowledge of sports. Much more than a good 75% of sports radio guys can say. But his butt love for the opening of training camp every year is so childish and meatheaded and stupid in a town brimming with it that to find another more stupefyingly asinine thing to get excited about this much is hard. The Emmys maybe? It's practice. No more, no less. I have visited Chiefs training camp. It was interesting for a good fifteen minutes. Lots of standing around. Lots of drills that lead to nothing.
The Onion kind of nails it:
NFL Fans Turn Out In Droves To Watch Men Touch Cones
Now, my wife has a good 6 pillows on our bed and I think that is about 4 too many. But it's nothing compared to some people. I've been to homes where. literally, the entire bed is covered with decorative, uncomfortable and itchy pillows. Why? What is our fascination with these things? Why must we have an armada of soft things to put our heads on while we slumber? Getting into bed should take no more than 4 seconds. I shouldn't have to shed contraband for 5 minutes. It's White people BTW.....Totally White.
But Dan McNeil's love for meaningless bullshit is in full swing right now. it's hard to top current awfulness but Pillows gives it a good fight as they burn out down the stretch in a 78-73 win for McNeil.
2) Conservatives Who Actually Bring Up Secession 15) Dr. Oz Diet Tips: Well, I guess that "My country love it or leave it" shit went out the window...After 9/11 Republican asshammers derided anyone who dared showed any skepticism to Bush or any of his "pro America" policies. They were told to "watch what they say" and "your either with us or against us". But that all went by the wayside when a liberal Black guy got some policies they didn't like passed. We actually have had congressmen and governors (Yeah, the one from Texas.) openly calling for the possibility of secession. Yep. Even though it's illegal and against every state constitution and completely undoable it's still a good way to get the Porch Dwellers to side with you. This has a long run ahead so I'll leave it at that for now.
Dr. Oz? He means well. But "boiled nuts" for a snack? Half a cup of plain yogurt? Come on, dude. I go and order an Oreo Blizzard just to spite him. Boiled nuts?
But this one is over 5 minutes in as Secession cruises to a 101-56 win.
I'll round out my first round tomorrow and then onto the 2nd. Hope to go a bit quicker now and be done by end of next week. Hope to.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Brought to you by fake outrage that panders to the stupid.
"No one was blaming the caviar for the Cubs' 9-5 loss to the first-place Padres on Monday, but the mere idea of serving caviar to a fifth-place team that began the day 17 games out of first place was akin to the chairman of BP going yachting during the height of the Gulf Coast oil spill disaster."
An Arkansas radio personality has been fired from her job two days after she wore a Florida Gators hat into a press conference with Razorback head coach Bobby Petrino.
Renee Gork announced, through the magic of Twitter, that she'd been axed by KAKS, which calls itself Hog Sports Radio.
Gork drew the ire of Petrino by wearing the offending cap and having the audacity to ask a question.
Petrino was less than thrilled about answering questions from anyone wearing the colors of a school that edged Arkansas 23-20 last year.
"That will be the last question I answer with that hat on," Petrino said.
Gork said she grabbed the hat without thinking because it was raining and was hoping to apologize publicly to both Petrino and the army or Razorkback fans.*
Now, she won't get that chance.
KAKS general manager Dan Storrs confirmed in a telephone interview with The Associated Press that Gork was no longer working for the station but declined to comment further, saying it was a personnel matter. **
However, he added, "This radio station is Hog Sports Radio. We are very biased. We support the Razorbacks 100 percent."***
Because Bobby Petrino is the ultimate in human decency. How many employers did you walk out on, asshole?
If I was her...lawsuit. Seriously. You can't fire someone for wearing a motherfucking HAT, you Ass Backward Hayseeds.
I have actually spent time in Arkansas and this surprises me not one bit. Wow.
* Why? Tell 'em to eat a dick.
*** Go fuck yourself. It's a fucking FOOTBALL TEAM, you jagass.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Today's bracket brought to you by JJ Putz deciding to suck ass all of a sudden...Alex Avila? Really?
3) People Who Still Don't Get Why Fixing Your Dog Is a Good Thing 14) Anderson Cooper's Growing Smugness and Self Righteousness:
I have met several folks who I am not only friends with but also admire a great deal who have not fixed their dogs. Why? Because it ranges from "it makes them pee everywhere" (Ummm, no, actually it's the exact opposite) to "I hate doing that to another guy" (Slaps forehead and falls backwards). Unless you are a breeder (and by breeder I mean someone who actually does it right: Litters every two years or so, good lineage, proper care not "I'm gonna git me one of them there Yorkie Terriers and make me some money!") then there is no reason your dog should keep it's junk. I don't want to get on a soap box here but take a trip down to your local shelter and walk around. Dog after dog that doesn't have a home and many of which will be put down. Why? Because Shirtless Ron Dickface can't scrounge up 75 bucks to get his dog's nuts taken off. Do it. There is no downside to it. None. Ask a real breeder.
Andersen Cooper is just annoying and smug. He has good company: all of TV. But his "rise" (However did he get ahead? Being a Vanderbilt? How?) was so manufactured and planned that you could set your watch to it. Now, he's "asking the tough questions" with his steel jaw and no nonsense glare. Barf. It's CNN. You still have Larry King and James Carville. It's a Goblin Convention.
But PWSRTGDF in a "walk". Get it? Ignorance will always beat arrogance in this tournament. 90-56. Over at half.
8) Miller Lite "Man Up" Ads 9) Peyton Manning's Omnipresence:
I am by no means a staunch feminist. I think alot of times the lefties get a bit too bent outta shape about how women are portrayed in ads. Particularly because, in the last 10 years or so, men have been made to look like slack jawed simpletons who are only good at fucking things up, in just about every commercial out there. So, a few girls show off their tits to sell beer or chicken wings? So what? Tits are nice.
But these "Man Up" ads from Miller Lite are so Frat Boy Stupid and border line hateful towards females that I am almost embarrassed to have a penis. Almost. First off, it's Miller Lite. It's making love in a canoe. Fucking close to water. Second, my manhood hasn't been questioned since I was maybe 19 about what booze I chose to drank. Yeah, if I saw a guy drinking Purple Passion I might give him a barb or two but to conjure up, yes I'll say it, sexist buffoonery is not only stupid, it's kinda, sorta offensive.
It's fucking American swill beer. It's for tailgating and garage fridges.
Here's a taste:
Oh, BTW, "Cool friend" at the end there-- A) Close your fucking mouth when you eat, asshole and B) Look more like every douche I ever met in college.
Peyton Manning has not seen a product he is not willing to whore for. The list is too long to go through but he goes just about anywhere to get a check. I can't find it anywhere but if you have seen the Lifelock ad where he and his brother and dad sit in sweaters talking about ID Theft than his shilling at his worst, has evaded your consciousness. Feel lucky.
But Manning seems like a fairly decent guy and he's not as stilted as most athletes are so that's probably why he gets to do them. He had no chance against "Man Up" as they cruise to a 84-66 win after a nice 11-0 run to start the second half.
Saturday, August 14, 2010