" That's just the sort of blinkered, Philistine Pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage!"

John Cleese

Monday, November 22, 2010

Morons, Your Bus Is Leaving!

Good Lord, reading the Iowa message boards is like peeking into the Special Needs Room at the junior high.

"Fire Ferentz! Fire O'Keefe! This is unacceptable!"

(Cue eye rub)
Frustrating? You bet your ass. Dissapointing? Yep. Unacceptable?! Accept it.

Dumb asses, do you realize we were all singing Ferentz's praises when he was 8-4 in 2008?

Here's a small example of the difference between a BCS season at Iowa and a ho-hum trip to Tampa, that 80% of programs would kill for.

2009:

1.WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Despite ,apparently, being coached to throw only to running backs and tight ends three yards downfield during a two minute drill, Ricky Stanzi leads Iowa during the last minute and a half against Michigan State. A slant to Marvin McNutt on the last play of the game wins it for Iowa, 15-13.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: Stanzi's pass is two inches higher and it bounces off McNutt's right shoulder pad and falls innocently to the turf. Iowa loses 13-9.

2. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Tyler Sash brings an INT back 95 yards against Indiana after it bounces off 4 players. It completely reverses the game and momentum, going from a 27 or 31 to 7 deficit to 24-14 going into the 4th quarter. Which leads to a meltdown by Indiana's defense and a "where the hell was this all fucking game" breakout by Stanzi and Iowa's offense.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: Chappel's pass falls incomplete, IU settles for a FG and takes a 27-7 lead into the 4th. Still think the comeback happens? OR the INT is caught but Sash is tackled right where he catches it. Down at the 5. Iowa still has to go 95 yards to score. Still think the comeback happens?

3. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Thanks to an unbelievably asinine rule Iowa has to block 2 FGs as time expires to knock off FCS Juggernaut Northern Iowa, 17-16.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: The guy makes the motherfucking FG. Iowa loses to a fucking FCS team and the season gets off to a rousing start. Still think they go 10-2?

There ya go, Hawk fans. Now, you're 7-5 and in the Champs Sports Bowl instead of the Orange.


2010:

1. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: After a clusterfuck on special teams and a Pick Six, Iowa snags momentum back from Arizona with a 4 yard TD pass to Jewel Hampton (remember him? The guy that could've been the zing to Adam Robinson's zang. Therefore, making the Iowa offense more unpredictable and y'know...better?) to make it 14-7. Only to give up a 100 yard KO return for a TD to lose whatever momentum they've gained.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: Iowa gets it's head out of it's ass and actually tackles the guy at say the 45. An inspired defense comes out and stuffs Arizona for a quick 3 and out. The teams trade FGs the rest of the half and Iowa is down 17-10 at half. Instead of 27-7. A game they eventually tied BTW....

2. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Wisconsin trails Iowa by 6 with under 7 minutes to play.Iowa forces a 3 and out and the Badgers are forced to punt. A fake goes for 8,000 yards before Iowa players realize there's not a ball in the air. Wisconsin takes it down the field from there (converting an "OK you're not that good, Scott Tolzien" 4th down pass) and go on to win 31-30.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: Iowa's coaching staff looks away for a moment from the robotic game plan and realizes that a fake may be something to watch for in that situation. Wisconsin realizes that they are in "punt safe", he kicks it and Iowa gets good field position to kick a game clinching FG.

OR Iowa makes a goddamn extra point or doesn't drop a snap on a chip shot FG. OR Scott Tolzien's 4th and 3 pass is 3 inches down and the receiver can't catch it. Iowa gets ball on down. Game over. See where I'm going with this?

3. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Dan Persa completes a 20 some yard TD pass with 1:30 left to give Northwestern a 21-17 lead against an inexplicably drained Iowa defense.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: Adrian Clayborn gets off one of his blockers/holders a second sooner, Persa's "brilliant" pass is now a prayer and Micah Hyde, who had decent coverage, turns around to make the pick. Game over.

4. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: Terrel Pryor converts a 4th and forever on a SCRAMBLE! Ohio State goes on to score a touchdown in a plot so predictable the writers of Scooby Doo Mysteries are shadowing the Iowa coaches this week.

WHAT EASILY COULD'VE HAPPENED: Iowa's coaching staff realizes that when you have 3 time outs left and you see the other team going for it on 4th and game, you may want to call a TO to reset the defense. OR Iowa leaves a linebacker in to shadow Pryor and they makes a tackle before he actually gets to the marker. Iowa takes over on downs and worst case, OSU is forced to drain their TOs and Iowa punts it away with 2 minutes left, deep into OSU territory.

Honorable mention: Indiana's receiver actually catches the ball. Iowa loses.

OK, so now Iowa is 10-0 or 9-1 (the Arizona game was a toss up even without all the bullshit) OR they're currently 6-5. All on the whim of a handful of plays/decisions. Ya see?!

It's not rocket science, people. Iowa's margin for error is small. Actually, most of college football is like this. It comes down, essentially, to about 10 plays every year whether or not you go 11-1 or 10-2 or you go 6-6 or 7-5. Iowa made most of them last year. They're not this year.

You would think Iowa fans would be used to this by now.

3 comments:

Christo P. Ney said...

Have you ever seen a team so straddle the fence between good and great? Have you ever seen a team that is literally one player away from that? One player.

I'll beat the drum again. If this team had Edds, they're 10-1 right now.

I didn't put it in yesterday's post but Ferentz and O'Keefe have NOTHING to do with their 4th quarter collapses. In many ways, they got everything out of everybody this year. "Everybody" and all their talent just happens to add up to 7-4 this year.

The football gods decided to right the celestial ship this year after last year's giggle and shrug after every fortuitous bounce/catch/block. Seems the gods decided to pack it in rather tightly instead of spreading it out over a few years but...

Mate Famber said...

I honestly think next year's team may have a better record. First off, the schedule is hardly intimidating save a trip to Nebraska and Penn State.
Tenn Tech
At Iowa State
Pitt
La-Monore
BYE
At Penn State
Northwestern (At some point they'll beat them)
Indiana
At Minnesota
Michigan (Defense gonna be really bad again)
Michigan State (Losing quite a bit)
At Purdue
At Nebraska

That and I've always said I'd take strong LBs in iowa's system over a good D-line every time.
The one good thing about the attrition at LB this season is that young guys have got ample experience. And James Morris is going to be as good as Edds and Angerer it looks like.
Losing Greenwood is not as bad as some people think. He's above average but certainly replacable.

The offense is going to be same ol' same ol' but most of the offensive line is back, McNutt returns, Robinson is back, I like Coker, I still think Vandenberg brings things that Stanzi doesn't, like arm strength and accuracy in the red zone.

That said, there's no way a team with at least 7 guys that will be in the NFL next year should be in danger of going to the Texas Bowl.

Christo P. Ney said...

And Frankly, Greenwood hasn't had a great season (which is all too complicated to get into due to the cornerbacks learning on the job but...)

Hyde's improved, I don't see Sash jumping, Binns and Daniels are back and yes, Morris might end up being REAL good.

Offense is the same thing. A ton is back. Tons to like all around.

I still wonder about those rumblings that Clayborn alluded to - guys not giving a crap or working hard in practice Wonder if a few guys were told their projected draft position a little too early and phoned it in.

But it's tough. I'd say this season was inexcusable but the losses fell, in many ways, on the shoulders of positions that were the obvious weak spots going into the season that a lot of people, I think, thought could be overcome with the NFL talent at other positions.

In Iowa's system, it doesn't work that way. Other systems, maybe. Not Iowa's. It's too base. Everybody has to pull their weight, otherwise it's too easy to find the weakness and exploit the hell out of it.

And Stanzi's been good but this is one of the weaker 23 td, 4 int, 66% comp. pct., 163 passer rating seasons I've seen, especially given how the o-line improved and the fact that he had two solid wide receivers to work with. I shouldn't complain about those numbers but I'm going to.